Can we want what we already have?
We want anchoring feelings, like comfort, security, stability, but we need to sail away too, we want adventure, thrill, stimuli, and all from one person, one person only.
Love = Have / Closeness Vs Desire = Want / Space
When do you feel more drawn to your partner? “When she is way, when we’re apart, when we get together again” or “when I see him/ her at her studio, at a stage, when she/he is confident” …
So, needing is the most anti-afrodisiac emotion! Freedom of expression is the “pau de cabinda”.
Animals have sex, but humans are the only ones who can have sexual fantasies, and the power to induce sexuality in our minds. We can be poets of sex.
What sustains desire? When do you feel turned on?
If you’re sad, if you feel low self-esteem, can you be turned on? Nop…
Desire comes with selfishness…
Reconnection with the better version ourselves. When we feel confident, when we think we look nice, when we’re happy in our jobs, with our family and friends
The erotic mind is not politically correct. It’s curious, it’s deviant, it’s playful.
How can we enjoy pleasure with the person we choose to share our life with?
Respect each other space, mental space, each one fantasies, remember that for play begins not 5 minutes before sex, but right after the last orgasm. An erotic relationship is a committed one, is focused on pleasure, it’s premeditated. An erotic couple makes plans and surprises to each other. Both feed their fantasies and a have the same desire of creating a playful/erotic life. Both have to be committed in that.