Wednesday, December 17, 2014

On relationships....

To be together & not really be together drives people crazy.
For that reason there is a lot of loneliness and frustration out there.
Love is about presence, not expert performance.
It's not that your partner is a terrible dancer. You can learn how to dance.
It's about presence.
You can feel pleasure and connection just from the touch of her or his hand.
To tune in the other, to tune into each other.

But Love takes time. Attraction is what you feel at first as you laugh and share good feelings, but later, you have to continue to fall in Love, over and over. You will step on each others foot once & while, and disagree in some non-important details of your perspective on the world, but you can reconnect again, and fall in Love again.

In a relationship, whether it is with one person or with the world,
we need to feel we matter.

Long lasting relationships are possible and can bring up emotions and new learning's on ourselves that in short-term encounters there's no space to happen. But in order to make them last, you need to engage with the other.

When you're in a relationship and you feel alone, you are far worst that someone that is just alone. Because you see everyday how that love vibration could happen, but you can't reach it, like a wonderful banquet and you're behind the glass, behind the well framed mirror.

Words of Dr. Sue Johnson. Thank you.


  1. Continually falling in love with the same person over and over again? Yes please. Having that person continually falling in love with me over and over again? How do I 'make' someone do that? Just because I'm in love with some one doesn't make them love me back.... Knowing what someone likes, caring about someone else's preferences, understanding how that person is going to react, being supportive, loving and generous are all the tools I have to nurture a relationship, and to be able to fall in love time after time, but, yes there is a but, if that special someone doesn't love me back, what have I done wrong? Or was it never about me? I look forward to being with someone who shares everything about themselves, as I would with them. To feel that vibration when we hold hands, or to feel the power of love when I look into that persons eyes. One day, one day...

  2. ... you don't "make" someone do that. I believe it all comes and goes from the same center: yourself. You Love the other person and you Love yourself. If both do that, you're both happy. 100% guaranteed!.. it does start with something hard to do: to believe it's possible and that we deserve it.

  3. I believe that anything is possible. But the question remains the same. If I am giving 100% to a relationship, how can I know that the other person is too? If the relationship is one sided I will only know when the other person walks away from the relationship. Right? Or is it because either myself or my partner didn't deserve each other? That our relationship was doomed from the start but we didn't know it? Everyone meets people in their lives, some people remain in our lives forever, some come and go, some stay a while but all have a purpose. It's up to us to find out what that purpose is... One day I'll get it right, one day...

  4. I think if someone walks out of a relationship it's because they need it, and with Love we have to accept their decision. They might or not come back, it's not up to ourselves to decide. We just have to accept that Life is what it is, full of surprises. We're much, much happier when we let go of the outcomes... go whatever, I'm breathing and that is amazing!

  5. Ok. Are you talking to me specifically, or you, or the general population? Acceptance of someone else's decision can be incredibly hard to do. Life is indeed full of surprises, not all of them are bad! One day I'll get the surprise of my life!