Need a push towards feeling better... here : )

“If you don’t like something, change it. 
If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
—
Maya Angelou
 



















“You’ve always had the power … 
you just had to learn it for yourself.”
—
Glinda the Good Witch of the North from “The Wizard of Oz

 

Embrace your playful heart... choose Love

Unlock it

Why do we feel we need to search for ourselves? We're right here...
But we get sad, or we get frustrated or we get indecisive on which way to go and boom, you need a psychologist, you need a Reiki Master, you need a super flirting date... something.

This whole thing of finding your purpose, yourself, your connection, your strength or magnetic field alignment, oh man, it's for heroes only, right? Well, ask someone who has survived something far worst than feeling sad and they will probably tell you a bit about that promised land, where the truth and wholeness are possible. They kind of have found it. But do we need to be throned away against a solid wall to get it? Is that the only way? Why aren't we smarter about being?

Well, maybe we don't talk much about it when we're growing up, and later in Life, we don't want to be labelled loonies for bringing that subject up. So we're a bit left alone when it comes to learning how to be. Despite the well known Shakespeare drama-question "To be or not to be", we don't consider that time must be put in figuring that one out. In daily Life we basically have two choices:  we can make jokes about it or go "Lock, Stock and two Smoking Barrels".

We secretly wish to be a hero, successful, happy... but...

What it is that we feel has something is missing?
...

What it is that makes you fight yourself or with others?
...

What it is that we feel as not part of this great world?
...

The answer: Breathe.

Stop everything you're doing, stop that guilty trip, stop the excuses, stop... and take one long deep breath. To just breathe it's such an amazing feeling. If you doubt that than stop breathing or imagine a wave coming in and you didn't get that extra inhale...

We are here, and we only get frustrated if we say to ourselves, or others, that we are frustrated because of this and that. So, stop blaming. Be here, move, speak, dance but stop blaming. Stop blaming you or others. Deal with it, fix it, change it, don't waste more time trying to feel good about something you feel it's wrong.

You feel lost. How can you be lost, if you know where you are? You're only lost if you want to be somewhere else and you don't know how to get there. But if you just want to be, you know where you are, here.

And if you feel that there's a connection missing, with the world, with nature, with people, with self ideologies, then, I'm sorry to upset you one more time, but make that connection. Make shit happen.

If you don't paddle to a wave, you will not surf any wave. You have to paddle, paddle, paddle hard and go for it! Then let it flow... feel it, be present, be attentive to what's in front of you, enjoy the ride while it lasts. P.S. You'll have to paddle again after.

It's your effort and preparation, and then your letting go, your trust in the unknown, that makes life an amazing miracle experience. That positive attitude, that good vibe, comes from pushing yourself beyond what you know with a strong trust in your preparation.

If you're feeling fragile, and we all get broken with Life's sneaky "surprises", hey, accept it and recognize it, but don't just stay there, do something about it. Preparation is key, whether in school or in Life. Same thing. Prepare yourself for life's exams. If you flunk, you will have to repeat the test, don't doubt it. You'll go over it again and again until the lesson is learned... you're wasting time if you're waiting for a miracle.

When it comes to Life, here some simple guidelines...

1) Hangout with your family, kids, friends, make new friends...
2) If it matters (but really think first), speak it out loud;
3) Find the problem and really work it out, don't just hunch your shoulders;
4) Try it and be surprised, be more generous and helpful, let yourself change and be the change;
5) Find that "bigger picture", there's always more than you think behind words and behaviors;
6) Pray, meditate... and forgive, yourself or others. Let the past go.

Each of us it's like a cloud on it's own. Together we're an immense sky. It can rain or shine. Be as open and helpful as you can be, without ever forgetting that you can change that sky. It's all good, whether it rains or the sun is shining. Both moods are important.

“Sunshine all the time makes a desert”
—
Arab proverb

Change the perspective

What if we changed our perspective on what we can do for ourselves? Society preaches that we have all we need to fix ourselves, tell us that the solution lies deep within each of us and that it's just a matter of staying open and listen to a inner voice we all possess, which is full of wisdom and righteousness.

Hum... what if it's the other way around?

What if we don't possess the perfect mind that knows what's best for ourselves and others. What if we don't have that super wise inner voice to guide us, and instead we get most of everything a bit wrong?

I think we must watch out, for it's the mind who runs the show, and that mind is a direct product of what it has seen, heard and felt over the years. What if the "school" of life we've been hasn't been the best exemplary or inspirational one?

So, maybe the solution is outside. Maybe instead of keeping looking inwards, we could take a good look outside and trust that what it might feel wrong to us, might feel that way because either it's wrong or some previous experience has shown that.

To sort of prove my point, is it true or not that most people find their purpose/life lessons either through raising children or confronting illness or death?

Life demands that we become adults, which means going against the whole drift of the culture. It specifically means, among other things, soothing your own bad feelings without the help of another, pursuing your own goals, and standing on your own two feet.

So we can be better if we search outwards for good examples or inspiration by enlighten beings. We need that outside help. We can be broken and in need of some fixing. The last thing you want to do is to put yourself even worst by blaming everything on you. You don't know any better! You don't know any better until you experience the "right" way...

“All teachings are mere references. The true experience is living your own life. Then, even the holiest of words are only words.”
_
Ming-Dao Deng

Here's a list of things we can start doing to improve ourselves.
more: follow the link

"1. Your Possessions – Too many material possessions complicate our lives to a greater degree than we ever give them credit. They drain our bank account, our energy, and our attention. They keep us from the ones we love and from living a life based on our values. If you will invest the time to remove nonessential possessions from your life, you will never regret it."

2. Your Time Commitments – Most of us have filled our days full from beginning to end with time commitments: work, home, kid’s activities, community events, religious endeavors, hobbies… the list goes on. When possible, release yourself from the time commitments that are not in line with your greatest values.

3. Your Goals – Reduce the number of goals you are intentionally striving for in your life to one or two. By reducing the number of goals that you are striving to accomplish, you will improve your focus and your success rate. Make a list of the things that you want to accomplish in your life and choose the two most important. When you finish one, add another from your list.

4. Your Negative Thoughts – Most negative emotions are completely useless. Resentment, bitterness, hate, and jealousy have never improved the quality of life for a single human being. Take responsibility for your mind. Forgive past hurts and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

5. Your Debt – If debt is holding you captive, reduce it. Start today. Do what you’ve got to do to get out from under its weight. Find the help that you need. Sacrifice luxury today to enjoy freedom tomorrow.

6. Your Words – Use words with care.  Keep your speech plain and honest. Mean what you say. Avoid gossip.

7. Your Artificial Ingredients – Avoid trans fats, refined grain (white bread), high-fructose corn syrup, and too much sodium. Minimizing these ingredients will improve your energy level in the short-term and your health in the long-term. Also, as much as possible, reduce your consumption of over-the-counter medicine – allow your body to heal itself naturally as opposed to building a dependency on substances.

8. Your Screen Time – Focusing your attention on television, movies, video games, and technology affects your life more than you think. Media rearranges your values. It begins to dominate your life. And it has a profound impact on your attitude and outlook. Unfortunately, when you live in that world on a consistent basis, you don’t even notice how it is impacting you. The only way to fully appreciate its influence in your life is to turn them off.

9. Your Connections to the World – Relationships with others are good, but constant streams of distraction are bad. Learn when to power off the blackberry, log off Facebook, or not read a text. Focus on the important, not the urgent. A steady flow of distractions from other people may make us feel important, needed, or wanted, but feeling important and accomplishing importance are completely different things.

10. Your Multi-Tasking – Research indicates that multi-tasking increases stress and lowers productivity. while single-tasking is becoming a lost art, learn it. Handle one task at a time. Do it well. And when it is complete, move to the next.


Wind from the Sea - Edward Gordon

Who has helped you?

... question to self. Who has helped me?

So many people. So many people in my Life have given me their time, attention, love and care. I’ve received a lot in my Life and unfortunately I don’t think I’ve given much back. And as I write on these thoughts I feel sad for not having, in some cases, the chance to say/do a proper thank you gesture. From a passing friend, to a teacher or a simple casual helper, there are many people in my Life I wish I could say Thank you. And I know we all share this sort of emotional debt, so how can we give back?

Some people don’t like to accept others help and for some reason they tend to believe they live on their own means and energy, but come on, how can you think that? Even if you bred animals, grew your own vegetables, weaved your own clothes and spent your existence in some far away cage you would still need that occasional shopping for something, or lets just think a bit ahead, we don’t actually come to this world just by ourselves, right? Someone gave birth to you. So let’s cut the bullshit on individualism's and come to terms that we all need a good “neighbor”. We need each other. If what you’re scared off is to loose yourself in that sometimes blind process called “education” then take some action, educate yourself, read, think, share and re-think.

Once you’ve got it under your belt, once you feel secure and confident, then be that person who once helped you to someone else. Be here and now, no but, no if, no maybe, be here and now and give forward what you’ve received and learned and keep learning about this Life.

“Peace can exist only in the present moment. It is ridiculous to say “Wait until I finish this, then I will be free to live in peace.” What is “this”? A diploma, a job, a house, the payment of a debt? If you think that way, peace will never come.”
—
Thich Nhat Hanh

Just remember, your world is your own design, there is no comparison to anyone’s world, anywhere. You see, think and feel things through your own lenses. We tend to take things personally, as if the other could get inside our head and understand our perception of things. No one can, remember this, but your friends, the people that care for you, will give you that space and so should you give to them. Be compassionate, here and now, and play.

"(...) Steal your heart 
Give it away 
Attached your head to you heart before it strays"

Are u feelin it?

“As surely as there is a voyage away, there is a journey home.”
—
Jack Kornfield

Everyday some are born, some dead, some even go missing... it's Life, and Life has its own rules, rhythms and, must add, a particular sense of humor. But just like any good old blues, we get along and go along with its compassionate side. There's always an addiction for hope, for wishing, and no wrong with that, until we can't find our next score and that's when the going gets tough. No hope? No wishful thinking? Dam...

“Isn’t it funny how we live inside the lies we believe?”
—
A.S. King

Yeah, we lie with all the teeth we still got, to save our own skin, the very thin skin that holds our egos. We usually don't mean harm in that, but we mean no good either. We all lie, to ourselves or others, it's in our very own nature to understand reality through a tiny little wormy brain that thinks he's it, tha thing that can save or destroy the world. But we're so dumb when it comes to understanding the greater things in Life... yeah, we know about super sweet deals and great catches, we know how to play smarter and fast, but what do we actually know or believe when it comes to Life itself. The basic. Hey dude, before your mama gave you birth, where were you? ... and, what, when you reach your expiration date, do you just go kaput, Copperfield stunt move?



... we all need to take a good look at the backstage of what's playing in our heads. Ok, maybe you  have a great audience who watches you perform, but they'll leave and go home, and you'll be with only person who, for show, will be with you for the rest of your life: yourself.

"Blues is easy to play, but hard to feel.", but so good to listen and such a treat for the soul. Respect and give some Love to your soul.
_
Jimy Hendrix

Finding the Why's and forgive.

How easy would it be to see things exactly as they are, instead of manipulated by who we are.

We know it's easy to look back and think how we could have done things differently. We could have spoken what our heart told us secretly, we could have stopped to listen what was being said, we could have been gentler and less scared, we could have been less selfish and more giving.

How easy would it be if we had a constant reminder that we might be wrong, that we don't know everything and that what we do know is masked by our own deceiving self-beliefs.

Because of the constant mind chatter and intrusiveness, we should stop at least once a day to re-think our actions and choices - This is it. Now is what really matters - what is was, what it will be it's out of our reach. We can always tell a different story to ourselves, sugar coat our words or actions, but the truth will eventually rise to the surface, just like an air bubble rises to the surface, and it can happen at the worst time ever... So think about what you're saying to yourself.

Our fears tell us we need to be sure, we need to know, we need to react, but usually the heart asks for a bit of more time, for a bit more patience and compassion.

“Love is the absence of judgment.”
—
Dalai Lama

I always come back to the same ideas, but they are the core of how to live in society, of sharing and living together... If we acted with more gratitude and humbleness, we could give so much, and actually receive even more in return.

We all make mistakes, we all wish for happier endings, we all wish to be understood, loved, recognized... remember the joy you felt when you're caught by a friend or a parent doing something you were proud of. We continue to search, all through our life, for that recognition, that feeling of appreciation.

We're not that different from each other. Some of us have deep anger inside, have hate rooted in their heart, but we share the same nature, and what we think we would never do, we might see ourselves doing it one day.

Regret is another form of self-pity. You regret and you feel forgiven. Stop regretting and face what your heart most desires. Is it forgiveness, is it compassion, is it bringing joy to the ones close to you?
Change your Past and Future right now.

Open your heart and don't be afraid of being wrong. Let others know that you're still learning, that you have many doubts on Life or certainties that can be completely foolish.

If we begin to see others as people, your parents, your wife or husband, your sister, your brother as people, people that "we should have known better", people that are complicated, people that have confusing inner feelings and many fears, maybe we could then accept that if only we knew, any of us, we would have done it better. We would have done it better. If a hand had been given to us, we would have made the leap, if a compassionate face had told us that it's OK, we could have maybe shouted that it's not... see others as you would like to see yourself, through a lens of Love, warmth, care, respect, forgiveness...

You could have done it better but you didn't, but NOW, right now (not tomorrow), now you can do better. Use your time for that, either at work or leisure time.

“. . gentleness is stronger than severity, water is stronger than rock, love is stronger than force.”
—
Hermann Hesse

E para alguém muito especial, obrigada pelo amor, carinho e tanta generosidade.
"Aí vai cu!"

and Live

The soul feels and the brain complicates it

“Truth is simple and open to all. Why do you complicate? Truth is loving and lovable. It includes all, accepts all, purifies all. It is untruth that is difficult and a source of trouble. It always wants, expects, demands. Being false, it is empty, always in search of confirmation and reassurance. It is afraid of and avoids enquiry. It identifies itself with any support, however weak and momentary. Whatever it gets, it loses and asks for more. Therefore put no faith in the conscious. Nothing you can see, feel, or think is so. Even sin and virtue, merit and demerit are not what they appear. Pursue any desire, it will always give you trouble.”
—
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

How many times did you know it before even thinking about it? How many times you felt it, whether in the form of some sadness or as an excited shy giggle... We sense it, we feel it, we smell it before our brain tells us what to do, before chocking our throat to make us stop and think: what is the righteous course of action and where is the balance between what I want and what I should do.

It's an important question this last one. To think about what we want and what we should do it's crucial to be/act as a good friend, a good companion, a good daughter or mother, a good colleague or just a nice stranger. We must think about what we want and what we should.

But, before wanting, there's an impulse, an urge, an impulsive curiosity and that feeling is our soul telling us if we should/want to follow one lead or if should/want to ignore it.

Whatever the direction, then act responsibly and be clear to others about what you want and what you should do. Sometimes what we want doesn't match with our reality, what we want it's not what our dear ones expect from us, in that case, act as you should. We should always be honest and gentle in our words about what we want.

“We need women who are so strong they can be gentle, so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational, and so disciplined they can be free.”

It's scary to be alone, but at the same we can get used to it... But we need more than ourselves. We need to share and feel that we're not alone, that we're not crazy, that there's hope beyond our own thoughts. Sometimes we are left with just ourselves, only and just ourselves, and despite the many conversations and theories one can come up with, we need to be proven we exist, we need to be proven that we matter.

So here's the thought for the evening. We matter, always.

Even if you're confined to a room, a bed, a hard reality or just a very simple unattached life, you matter, and the proof of that is that, at any moment we can change our reality. We can choose to be silent and away, but we can later choose to speak loudly, to dance or feel another person. We can choose what to feel because our thoughts matter. Prison is ultimately a state of mind, but be "mindful" that it's very easy to live as if in a prison. You might not have guards watching over every step you give and big walls to keep you hidden, but you can still live in a prison from Life and its challenges.

Watch the video BBC Video
What does it feel like to be confined for so long and then set free? One of the 'Angola 3' men, Robert King, was released in 2001 - after spending 29 years in total isolation. He described his experience to the BBC in an interview three years ago.

From a very beautiful lady...

“When I say … “I am a Christian”
I’m not shouting “I’m clean livin’.”
I’m whispering “I was lost,
Now I’m found and forgiven.”

When I say … “I am a Christian”
I don’t speak of this with pride.
I’m confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say … “I am a Christian”
I’m not trying to be strong.
I’m professing that I’m weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say … “I am a Christian”
I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say … “I am a Christian”
I’m not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say … “I am a Christian”
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say … “I am a Christian”
I’m not holier than thou,
I’m just a simple sinner
Who received God’s good grace, somehow!"

_

Maya Angelou