Sunday, August 31, 2014
“It always struck me in years after how bizarre it was, how two people could look at one another with such tenderness and complete love, and how quickly that could dissolve into nothing but bitterness.”
—
Hannah Harrington, Saving June
“To my sweet daughter,
If you ever begin to wonder if he is the one, ask yourself:
Does his laughter warm your body from the inside out? He knows that when you say two scoops you really mean three, right? Do you dance in his living room while drinking cheap wine? I hope so, and I hope you’re both drunk and terrible and laughing so hard you cry. Does he tell you how beautiful you are, and if yes, does he say it when the morning light falls upon your face? More importantly, when he tells you, do you believe him? Can you cry in front of him? I hope you can, that means you trust him. When it’s pouring rain does he know that if your hair is curled or your eyes are sad that means he should get the car and bring it to you? When he asks what you want for dinner and you say you aren’t hungry, does he ask if you’ve eaten today? And when you say you had breakfast, I hope he knows you don’t eat breakfast, and makes you a bowl of rice, because that’s your favorite comfort food. Does he kiss you good morning? Good night? Just because? Do you know he likes his coffee black? Unless he wants it cooled, then he will probably want some milk in it, but not too much. Do you know when he prefers tea to coffee? I never quite figured that out with your father, so if you have, you’re a better woman than I. Have you figured out where he’s ticklish? Don’t let him convince you he’s not, I promise you he is. Have you frustrated the hell out of him yet? You will, oh you will, but it’s how you two come out of it that matters. And when he said he loved you for the very first time, did you respond by asking if he’s afraid of heights? I hope with my entire soul that he said yes because that means, despite his fear, he fell for you. Now, darling, you tell me, is he the one?"
_
Anonymous
—
Hannah Harrington, Saving June
“To my sweet daughter,
If you ever begin to wonder if he is the one, ask yourself:
Does his laughter warm your body from the inside out? He knows that when you say two scoops you really mean three, right? Do you dance in his living room while drinking cheap wine? I hope so, and I hope you’re both drunk and terrible and laughing so hard you cry. Does he tell you how beautiful you are, and if yes, does he say it when the morning light falls upon your face? More importantly, when he tells you, do you believe him? Can you cry in front of him? I hope you can, that means you trust him. When it’s pouring rain does he know that if your hair is curled or your eyes are sad that means he should get the car and bring it to you? When he asks what you want for dinner and you say you aren’t hungry, does he ask if you’ve eaten today? And when you say you had breakfast, I hope he knows you don’t eat breakfast, and makes you a bowl of rice, because that’s your favorite comfort food. Does he kiss you good morning? Good night? Just because? Do you know he likes his coffee black? Unless he wants it cooled, then he will probably want some milk in it, but not too much. Do you know when he prefers tea to coffee? I never quite figured that out with your father, so if you have, you’re a better woman than I. Have you figured out where he’s ticklish? Don’t let him convince you he’s not, I promise you he is. Have you frustrated the hell out of him yet? You will, oh you will, but it’s how you two come out of it that matters. And when he said he loved you for the very first time, did you respond by asking if he’s afraid of heights? I hope with my entire soul that he said yes because that means, despite his fear, he fell for you. Now, darling, you tell me, is he the one?"
_
Anonymous
The Real is Now
“Leave behind the passive dreaming of a rose-tinted future. The energy of happiness exists in living today with roots sunk firmly in reality’s soil.”
—
Daisaku Ikeda
“This is the real secret of life— to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now, and instead of calling it work, realize it is play.”
—
Alan Watts
—
Daisaku Ikeda
“This is the real secret of life— to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now, and instead of calling it work, realize it is play.”
—
Alan Watts
Friday, August 29, 2014
Ecologia Emocional
"É a arte de transformar positivamente as nossas emoções. É sabermos canalizar a energia de cada emoção para melhorar a nossa relação com as pessoas e com o mundo. É fazermos uma boa gestão do nosso mundo emocional, como fazemos com os recursos da natureza. Reconhecer e reciclar os sentimentos negativos é a base da ecologia emocional. Tal como num processo de reflorestamento, é possível replantar virtudes e sentimentos positivos.
- Livre-se de sentimentos e situações mal resolvidas e de relações tóxicas;
- Faça uma reforma agrária na sua vida – não dê importância a terras improdutivas, ou seja, a pessoas, acontecimentos ou situações desagradáveis;
- Opte pela criatividade e abandone a destruição. Toda a energia que deixamos de investir em nós mesmos converte-se em infelicidade."
_
Ana Teresa Marques | Psicóloga Clínica
7 PRÍNCIPIOS DA ECOLOGIA EMOCIONAL
1- Autonomia – ajude-se primeiro e verá que os outros também o ajudarão.
2- Independência – não faça pelos outros aquilo que eles podem fazer por eles mesmos.
3- Moralidade Natural – não faça aos outros o que não quer que eles lhe façam.
4- Efeito Boomerang – o que fizer aos outros voltará para si.
5- Respeito – não espere que todos desejem o mesmo que você.
6- Auto Aplicação – é impossível doar o que você não pode dar a si mesmo.
7- Limpeza Emocional – livre-se das relações que o(a) impedem de crescer.
- Livre-se de sentimentos e situações mal resolvidas e de relações tóxicas;
- Faça uma reforma agrária na sua vida – não dê importância a terras improdutivas, ou seja, a pessoas, acontecimentos ou situações desagradáveis;
- Opte pela criatividade e abandone a destruição. Toda a energia que deixamos de investir em nós mesmos converte-se em infelicidade."
_
Ana Teresa Marques | Psicóloga Clínica
7 PRÍNCIPIOS DA ECOLOGIA EMOCIONAL
1- Autonomia – ajude-se primeiro e verá que os outros também o ajudarão.
2- Independência – não faça pelos outros aquilo que eles podem fazer por eles mesmos.
3- Moralidade Natural – não faça aos outros o que não quer que eles lhe façam.
4- Efeito Boomerang – o que fizer aos outros voltará para si.
5- Respeito – não espere que todos desejem o mesmo que você.
6- Auto Aplicação – é impossível doar o que você não pode dar a si mesmo.
7- Limpeza Emocional – livre-se das relações que o(a) impedem de crescer.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Healing from the Heart
We continue to hold on to old beliefs, hold concepts that once protected us, kept us safe from criticism or something worse, but as we grow it's fundamental that we change to be who we're designed to be. It's important that we become the better version of ourselves and not the fearful and painfully quiet self.
As we change we break the connection with old habits, we break the cast that shaped us and we grow and heal, to be free, to be expansive, to be more. Break free.
And as we recognize that we are the creators of our own Life's path, it becomes clearer that we're also the creators of our own World's reality. My consciousness becomes a mirror of the world's collective consciousness. We're not just tiny little drops in the ocean. We're the little stone that ripples on that vast soulful lake, our society.
As we change we break the connection with old habits, we break the cast that shaped us and we grow and heal, to be free, to be expansive, to be more. Break free.
And as we recognize that we are the creators of our own Life's path, it becomes clearer that we're also the creators of our own World's reality. My consciousness becomes a mirror of the world's collective consciousness. We're not just tiny little drops in the ocean. We're the little stone that ripples on that vast soulful lake, our society.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Courage
“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.”
—
in "The Wolf of Wall Street" movie
—
in "The Wolf of Wall Street" movie
Monday, July 7, 2014
What is Life?
I guess there can be two main perspectives on Life: Life is what it is or Life is something much greater.
If Life is just what it is, then, the facts are that you have a Life expectancy of 85 years, so you have to survive and entertain yourself for 85 years. If Life is something that works itself out, then you have no control on the outcomes, and everything is a coincidence to put things in some right track.
It’s hard to believe in the second point of view. Everything seems to be random and wrong at times, that’s it’s just too hard to believe that there’s some ultra smart sense or purpose behind it.
But we want to believe there’s more. We want to believe that all our Love, Passions, Secret Dreams and all those deep feelings live beyond ourselves, in some sort of soul, some immaterial us.
We get excited through fantasy but maybe the belief of existing something more it’s just that, a fantasy.
The smart way to understand Life is actually to be very analytic about it. You are born, you’re taught a set of skills that enable you to work in the future as well as a set of skills to live in communion with other human beings, and then you get old, and that’s the moment you’ve been preparing for, by saving some money aside, and building a family. You get old and you stop doing most of the things you enjoyed until one day your body just shuts down.
It doesn’t have to be seen as a sad perspective on Life to look at it through analytical lenses. As said, it’s just the smartest way to live Life.
If you bring all the responsibility for a happy life into your own hands, then most probably you’ll live a happy live. Whatever way you choose to look at it, life is never an easy task. The same way some phone calls are hard to do, some talking, some choosing or some foods are hard to eat, life is hard to deal with it. It demands your full attention, and if you put it on hold, you’ll lose opportunities, you’ll lose pieces of it and you’ll regret not having been awake and more active towards life.
So, whether you think there’s more to Life than what we know so far, it is most definitely your responsibility, and everything you choose to do or not to do, shapes it into what your Life is. You’re in the drivers seat, you decide if you want to keep speeding it up or make some stop to refuel. If there’s a turn that maybe you should take to get to know someone, some place, come on, you can always get back into the main road. Hey, if your car gets broken, you can walk, if you can’t walk, you can be seated and be there to talk with whoever needs to hear.
So Life is what you are. It’s the song of your Heart and what you choose to do.
LIFE IS WHO YOU ARE.
If Life is just what it is, then, the facts are that you have a Life expectancy of 85 years, so you have to survive and entertain yourself for 85 years. If Life is something that works itself out, then you have no control on the outcomes, and everything is a coincidence to put things in some right track.
It’s hard to believe in the second point of view. Everything seems to be random and wrong at times, that’s it’s just too hard to believe that there’s some ultra smart sense or purpose behind it.
But we want to believe there’s more. We want to believe that all our Love, Passions, Secret Dreams and all those deep feelings live beyond ourselves, in some sort of soul, some immaterial us.
We get excited through fantasy but maybe the belief of existing something more it’s just that, a fantasy.
The smart way to understand Life is actually to be very analytic about it. You are born, you’re taught a set of skills that enable you to work in the future as well as a set of skills to live in communion with other human beings, and then you get old, and that’s the moment you’ve been preparing for, by saving some money aside, and building a family. You get old and you stop doing most of the things you enjoyed until one day your body just shuts down.
It doesn’t have to be seen as a sad perspective on Life to look at it through analytical lenses. As said, it’s just the smartest way to live Life.
If you bring all the responsibility for a happy life into your own hands, then most probably you’ll live a happy live. Whatever way you choose to look at it, life is never an easy task. The same way some phone calls are hard to do, some talking, some choosing or some foods are hard to eat, life is hard to deal with it. It demands your full attention, and if you put it on hold, you’ll lose opportunities, you’ll lose pieces of it and you’ll regret not having been awake and more active towards life.
So, whether you think there’s more to Life than what we know so far, it is most definitely your responsibility, and everything you choose to do or not to do, shapes it into what your Life is. You’re in the drivers seat, you decide if you want to keep speeding it up or make some stop to refuel. If there’s a turn that maybe you should take to get to know someone, some place, come on, you can always get back into the main road. Hey, if your car gets broken, you can walk, if you can’t walk, you can be seated and be there to talk with whoever needs to hear.
So Life is what you are. It’s the song of your Heart and what you choose to do.
LIFE IS WHO YOU ARE.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Monday, June 30, 2014
Why a Good Marriage Will Break Your Heart
Loving is not for the weak. We encourage people to love and desire their partner, never realizing what we’re encouraging them to do. Desire involves wanting and longing. Who among us really wants to want? Who is ready to crave their partner, without the guarantee that the partner will always be there to satisfy their longings?
The reason there are so many mediocre marriages isn’t because so many people are pathological or have imaginary family “diseases”. It’s because the really good marriages will break your heart.
In a long-term marriage, one partner will bury the other. The more a person wants and loves a partner, the more painful it will be when he or she loses them. There are all too few people developed enough to stand by themselves, hold their own hand through the loss of a partner, and accept Life on its own terms. That’s why desire problems are so common. This situation also spells out its solution. It’s not negotiation. It’s not compromise. It’s not a sexual technique. It’s growing up to the point that you’re willing to tolerate the loss of a beloved irreplaceable partner.
There’s only one way to avoid that inevitable loss, and many people follow that strategy: Don’t love your partner too well, so that by the time they die, they won’t mean that much to you anymore.
Like many aspects of life, the choice is not whether or not you’re willing to be anxious. The choice is which anxiety you’re going to, and you’re going to have one of them, whether you like it or not. You can lose your partner a little everyday or all at once.
Nobody ever gets to have a better partner than they’re willing to give up.
Willingly loving someone, knowingly setting yourself up for loss- that’s hard for people. It goes beyond resolving sex problems or personal insecurities. It’s an issue of integrity.
Marriage is a people growing machine.
It pulls and it pushes you. It stretches you to the point where you can embrace the processes of Life and love on their own terms. Like intense intimacy and eroticism, real love is not for kids. It’s not for “wounded children” who can’t soothe themselves. It’s for adults only. We may not like the process, but it makes us capable of profound adult desire. It’s not a quick process and it’s not as simple as improving sex. We need to have more respect for those brave souls willing to risk a successful marriage.
~
David Schnarch
The reason there are so many mediocre marriages isn’t because so many people are pathological or have imaginary family “diseases”. It’s because the really good marriages will break your heart.
In a long-term marriage, one partner will bury the other. The more a person wants and loves a partner, the more painful it will be when he or she loses them. There are all too few people developed enough to stand by themselves, hold their own hand through the loss of a partner, and accept Life on its own terms. That’s why desire problems are so common. This situation also spells out its solution. It’s not negotiation. It’s not compromise. It’s not a sexual technique. It’s growing up to the point that you’re willing to tolerate the loss of a beloved irreplaceable partner.
There’s only one way to avoid that inevitable loss, and many people follow that strategy: Don’t love your partner too well, so that by the time they die, they won’t mean that much to you anymore.
Like many aspects of life, the choice is not whether or not you’re willing to be anxious. The choice is which anxiety you’re going to, and you’re going to have one of them, whether you like it or not. You can lose your partner a little everyday or all at once.
Nobody ever gets to have a better partner than they’re willing to give up.
Willingly loving someone, knowingly setting yourself up for loss- that’s hard for people. It goes beyond resolving sex problems or personal insecurities. It’s an issue of integrity.
Marriage is a people growing machine.
It pulls and it pushes you. It stretches you to the point where you can embrace the processes of Life and love on their own terms. Like intense intimacy and eroticism, real love is not for kids. It’s not for “wounded children” who can’t soothe themselves. It’s for adults only. We may not like the process, but it makes us capable of profound adult desire. It’s not a quick process and it’s not as simple as improving sex. We need to have more respect for those brave souls willing to risk a successful marriage.
~
David Schnarch
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Thursday, June 19, 2014
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