Drafting through Life

How can one ever know this is the real deal, no last minute change, no shift in perspective, no recast, conversion of mind, view, way, feeling… that this is the Life you'll be remembered for. When it’s over?! You know, when you’re no longer around to talk with and the memory of your best features is all everyone can have from you.

Yeah, nothing ever stays the same, things change, and for some, or in some days, feels good that Life is so unpredictable. There’s some sweet surprises, there’s some cool “outpost” of who we can be, but, depending on your personality and life experiences, there can also be a lot of frustration towards this thing we call living.

We all feel the need for a purpose, for an interesting story, better yet, an interesting narrator. We don’t imagine ourselves becoming old, but we picture often who we will be like looking back. Deep inside each of us we dream of finding Love, finding words and actions that reveal who we are while being useful and recognised in the world (the simple world of our close ones is enough).

And so we keep trying, sketching in what way we can be closer to the right, corrected, evolved version of ourselves. Will that final version ever exist? Yes, we will find that final version of ourselves when we accept that our flaws are what makes us who we are, and with humility, we forgive ourselves and others, for not living always accordingly to what our thoughts, gestures and words say behind our back.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

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Mahatma Gandhi

But, there’s this thing that, unless life shakes us up, very few get it, which is, Life has no experience trial mode. We’re born and we’re living it. This frustrating tendency of leaving for later what could be done, could be said, let go, keeps us in a constant draft mode…  It’s indeed scary to compromise in ignorance, but to keep being ignorant for the sake of not submitting that Life’s draft, takes us nowhere. Keeps us in repeat  mode, and eventually, as any old record that is heard only through the same track, we get scratched, never moving on to the next tune.

Over and over it’s hard to be fully present. There’re things we wanted to say, there’s ideas we want to share, there’s situations we wish we could change… and over and over we live overriding this moment, right now, with those wishes and fantasies, pretend talks and false projections, thinking that one day, we will manage to change from the draft version of ourselves, to a final complete one.

… well, we are, right now, right here, and where we will go next, no one knows.

So be present. Be you. Share what you’re scared off, share what you’re giggling about,  share your ignorance, staying present, being real. Stop being only a draft. Submit yourself to the world: I am.

" (...) I've got the world by the balls
Am I supposed to behave? (...)

It's easy to assume that you've built some rapport
With a someone who only likes you for what you like yourself for
Okay, you be my mirror but remember that there are only a few angles I tend to prefer
I'm only here to serve"

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Father John Misty