It wasn’t that far from where everyone I knew existed. To make it simple, I lived in a very small village out in the hills from nothing. The cave, yes, I will be telling you about a cave, a hole in the rock hard stone, that existed not that far away from everything I had seen.
My mum gave birth to this body that today represents me. People recognise me with this particular shape and in their social politeness they say hello, or we ask each other how life is going. In a very simple way, we show that we care about the complexities of being alive and try to help each other in sorting out the whys and the hows of this enigma called living.
Because sometimes I don’t want be asked questions, or hear any repeated answers, I walk myself to the cave, that silent hidden hole in the rock hard stone that surrounds the village I was born in.
At first there’s no silence, for I can hear my own breath from the long uphill path that one day I dared to explore. Once my breathing rhythm is set back to normal, I can still hear the thoughts that I carry inside my brain. Gently I start feeling numb and the stillness of that dark hole in the rock hard stone that surrounds the village, begins to engulf the who that is to the world and I finally just am. “To be or not to be”…
We can ask questions to each other, but what if I told you that there’s a part of you that is watching you asking those questions. In the cave, I can feel that outside part of me. It feels as if the shape that forms my arms, legs and face, just dissipates into an ocean of colours, movement, maybe sounds… and I become part of the rock that surrounds me, and I don’t exist anymore, I’m not anymore, I’m everything and everything is me.
The cave, a black deep hole in a rock hard stone.
I’ve heard others talking about the weirdness of the place, and by simple conjunction, the weirdness in me for disappearing so many times in it. At first I tried to hide that choice and desire, that I could feel very strongly in my chest, but with time, more than weary, I started feeling dissociated with other’s views of my choice to be engulfed by the beauty of the deepest silence anyone could experience. The cave was more than a place, space or choice, it was me. I was the cave. The cave was me.
The walls were humid, but it wasn’t cold. The space was dark, but the light of the sun reflected on the water that gently slither along the abstract forms of the walls. It was if the shadows, and its opposite, the light, were dancing around me. My skin could feel that energy and my entire being was immersed in the most pure manifestation of wholeness. I was one with everything, everything was me. I was one and the One was me.
Beyond any polarity I am. Going deeper and quieting what I knew it was just the mind, I became that cave, in the rock hard stone and I found the light in the darkness, and I was no longer my thoughts, I was the entire experience of living.
As a black hole, which is said to be a pure gravitational field so strong that its own energy sustains its existence, I am the cave, the cave is me, you are me in me, I live in you. As massive stars that collapse to an infinitesimal point and leave their gravitational fields behind, we are all intertwined, with all there is, there was, there will be. Dare to visit the dark cave in that rock hard stone, and expand or contract into One.
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