shoji: birth-death

Maybe because humans are very smart, or, well, putting it gently, are very dumb, only through the experience of the opposite do we understand what actually is true or right for us.

We’re not ok in being alone, but we probably feel uncomfortable in a crowd; we don’t have what we want or we have too much going on; we hope for settling up some roots, but having very few options makes us wish for more choices; being alive but with fear of living; searching for a cure, but wishing the strength to give up. And, want we all internally, deeply and foremost live for, Love. Aspiring for a great Love and incapables of loving ourselves.

“In the realm of feeling, the productive orientation is expressed in love, which is the experience of union with another person, with all men, and with nature, under the condition of retaining one’s sense of integrity and independence. In the experience of love the paradox happens that two people become one, and remain two at the same time. Love in this sense is never restricted to one person. If I can love only one person, and nobody else, if my love for one person makes me more alienated and distant from my fellow man, I may be attached to this person in any number of ways, yet I do not love.”

_

Erich Fromm

So we need to live through the idea of loss, of pain, of confusion, to appreciate where we are, how and who with. We need to be close to an end, to rethink and miss the beginning.

So maybe opposites are not so distant related. Maybe opposites are part of the same family, hyphenated, inseparable. We do know the closeness of Love and Hate, of Peace and Turbulence, of Forgiveness and Memory, of Life and Death…

In Japanese Zen, the term shoji translates as “birth-death.” There is no separation between life and death other than a small hyphen, a thin line that connects the two.

Through pain and loss we find inner love and forgiveness. We grow, in the sense that, the frontier of who we are expands into a wider reality, an immersion in the world in all its different levels, perspectives.

A warm bed when it’s cold outside…

“Dying is inevitable and intimate. I have seen ordinary people at the end of their lives develop profound insights and engage in a powerful process of transformation that helped them to emerge as someone larger, more expansive, and much more real than the small, separate selves they had previously taken themselves to be. This is not a fairy-tale happy ending that contradicts the suffering that came before, but rather a transcendence of tragedy…. I have witnessed a heart-opening occurring in not only people near death, but also their caregivers. They found a depth of love within themselves that they didn’t know they had access to. They discovered a profound trust in the universe and the reliable goodness of humanity that never abandoned them, regardless of the suffering they encountered. If that possibility exists at the time of dying, it exists here and now.”

_

Frank Ostaseski

It really is when we no longer can have, that we miss.

That's why all the highlighted quotes on living in the now, to be present now, carpe diem, for me and you and everyone we know...

Scars

Scars…

Everyone has at least one, well hidden or right at sight for anyone to see. The story behind them might be of bravery or, the opposite, forever ashamed for a wrong decision. The last one forever hurts and weights up in any future decision. 

For some, scars are reminder that they survived. For others, a reminder that they failed. But both are alive, and with that focus in mind, a deep appreciation for Life’s second chances is something we all should feel. 

You, me, we are alive, with stories to tell and simple dreams to fulfil.

Everyone has regrets, but the weight in them depends on the lesson we choose to embrace. I have regrets that will over shadow some laughs, some wishes, but I recognise them and with that in mind I hold on to second chances, and of course, more importantly, I try not to repeat them.

In the past I once chose to be selfish and blind. Even if a bit unconsciously, I chose not to see or be seen. But hiding yourself in a cave, lying to yourself about what’s really happening, will only amplify your inner fears. Because of that scar that is now present in me, I have learned that selfishness is an infertile ground, and whatever the situation we’re facing, it’s always best to say and do whatever will bring love, peace and laughter to that moment.

Then Life will continue to shape us and our reaction to things will change. If life is not an easy task, let’s find a reason to find some fulfilment: kids, partners, work, friends, mission… a good life is not about self pleasures, but most, about friends, family, social interaction. Sure, we can live some crazy adventure on our own, but sharing that story afterwards is what will give more meaning to it.

So we need LOVE.

Being crazy rich, being super smart will create a successful life, but without Love, without that understanding of others and their emotions, you’re alone.

Love, also unusually called Flow, is what will give yourself meaning. Flow and Play. Savouring what Life as to offer while embracing Life’s challenges, while being mindfulness of what is out and inside you. And being present. Being present in our friends life, in our loved ones lives, being cheerful with gratitude for Life’s second chance to get it right this time.

“Attention without feeling … is only a report.”

“The end of life has its own nature, also worth our attention. I don’t say this without reckoning in the sorrow, the worry, the many diminishments. But surely it is then that a person’s character shines or glooms.”
_
Mary Oliver

We are all close to an end, for Life always seems to short in time. whatever is that we are dwelling on, let’s find the compassion to forgive, to understand and to give a second chance. We all need each other, we all need to be loved, we all need to find some fulfilment and purpose in Life. If not, we stay sad and feel as outsiders, and too soon we’ll give up. Don’t give up, face your scars and praise them for your strength in surviving them.

A scar does not form on the dying. A scar means I survived.

—  Chris Cleave, Little Bee 

An "us" fading away, Nature being smogged.

In a time where the big “me” is being unveiled, highlighted, elected to power, there’s an “us” that fades away and looses presence. And for most, this is a time of wealth and innovation, in a way, some pseudo-independence feeling circles around, but so much poverty and emptiness is present, and it’s not even hidden, we are all aware of it, we see and feel it, but there’s no “us” anymore, so in a “myself” society we’re supposed to let others solve their own troubles.

It’s important to cultivate self-wisdom and a real voice for our dreams and beliefs, but that is a self-homework that one must do if it really wants to discover his/hers mission, path in life. That growth has to be done on your own, but the tools and experiences are all part of a common reality. We are not born alone or experience life alone. We live together.

Have we forgotten that we share the same nature? Well, we haven’t, as there are so many fights about the differences people choose to find in order to build their own group identity. Because we are so alike we actually have this need to distinguish and extoll the differences in thought.

But we share the same nature. This word that should always be written in caps lock, Nature. It derives from the Latin word natus which means birth. It refers to the inherent, what everything is born with. Trees inherently will have seeds, the immanent nature of the sea is to be in constant motion, sensitive to is other half, the sky, and in permanent courtship with earth’s land.

Our nature is not to live in single communion with an ego that is sustained by should’s and fed demands. We are humans, animals with a high degree of intelligence, that have progressed into building cities and learning places for a continued evolution. Sadly in that process, we have engaged in an ever more highlighted conflict and contest between who is stronger, faster and flexible. And so our Nature has evolved into the maturation of the individual, the “me” that must shine through it’s differences with others, with it’s amazing unique ways, the “me” that is closed to maintenance, it’s open for exhibition, a “me” that can not ever be ordinary, and so, very hardly, can it belong to a collective “us”.

Unfortunately the joy of growing seeds of compassion and dropping them in fertile ground, has become not our Nature, but a choice. Some choose to turn their back to the rush of the modern world and become helpful guides, shoulders of comfort, others choose to study and engage in changes that are based in written statements, others follow a vision that will bring them the wealth they believe to need and deserve, but whatever path, for everyone it’s a choice, an individual mindful choice. Where’s our true Nature in our choices? Is it embraced with the whole? … Not anymore.

Let’s know ourselves, without loosing site of our common nature.

Last but not least, I dare to say that the main reason we are getting a lot more turn into that “myself” is because we are getting more afraid of feeling. To feel, to compromise, to fully commit and let who we really be seen and become “vulnerable”.

“Relationship is the fundamental truth of this world of appearance”
_
Tagore (Indian Poet)
"We shape our self to fit this world
and by the world are shaped again.
The visible and the invisible working
together in common cause,
to produce the miraculous.

I am thinking of the way the intangible

air passed at speed round a shaped wing
easily holds our weight.
So may we, in this life trust
to those elements we have yet to see or imagine,
and look for the true shape of our own self,
by forming it well to the greatintangibles about us."
_
David Whyte
David Whyte - Working Together

Self-forgetful

He closed his eyes, recoiling into his fear of a total misunderstanding of himself and the world. It didn't feel wrong to shut down and disappear from what it seemed to be an overweighted reality that everyone else just accepted and juggled around. It had to be him who was wrong. It was him who couldn’t figure out how to be heard, how to clearly listen, how to direct and sustain a fast paced modern living. It had to be him who had lost his ideologies and baseline values. So what else could he do besides moving away from what he thought he knew, and some even loved?

Society will leave you at drift if you so choose to. Well, is it really a choice? To exist or not exist. This existential living we all share is made of physical gestures, and silence can be considered one. Stay quiet for one, two, seven days, a month or years, and besides some confrontation here and there and sometimes an hysteric curiosity, you’ll be still existing, as you’ll be performing the act of living, even if in an absurd way to the eyes of the majority.

So he closed his eyes, and in pain, he focused in not existing. He focused in not being there, not owning anything, neither debts or forgiveness. He focused on nothing, on total emptiness of feelings. But the more his effort grew in forgetting who he was, the deeper his wounds seemed to get. He didn’t want to disappear. Life had great meaning and value to him, but he had lost his hope in belonging. Possession made sense but he couldn’t feel it without changing his breath and heartbeat. To belong, to own, to reveal… How could he embody what he could not feel?

Eyes closed, forgotten body, and the temperature lowers down, long spaced breaths…

Dear loved ones, now I miss you all. And so amazingly can I now admire your beauty, your energy. There’s so much more than our eyes can see. What an amazing world we inhabit. What a powerful, musically blasting world we inhabit. 

We claim so many things to be our vision, our path, even our misfortunes we claim to deserve them or slash Life’s appreciation for not having our expectations met. Where’s that non-existence that allows us to fully embrace and abruptly fall into that first womb, our real first birth.

Hey beautiful soul, you need to feel lost to find yourself. No one, even the wisest master, can ever tell you who you are. Only you alone can stretch your beliefs, put down your walls and fully embrace who you are, the deep, eternal soul you alone are in communion with everyone else.

Don’t be afraid to close your eyes. Nothing is ever lost. Just rebuilt, reborn, transformed.

Trust in your own nature, just as other animals do not question theirs. And don’t be afraid of revealing and sharing your own questions and doubts. Love only comes to those who willingly remove their arms and masks and share with their life partners what they believe or fear.

Show yourself in the mirror and to others, and let that hypnotic rhythm of being alive and drunk in Life take over your ego, your invented brain, created persona. You are an amazing deep blue ocean, silent deep rooted trees that dance with the wind. You are the solid warmth of the sun and the darkness of a sky bursting in an intense prestissimo rain …

To be really honest and real, you must, above all, feel.

Drafting through Life

How can one ever know this is the real deal, no last minute change, no shift in perspective, no recast, conversion of mind, view, way, feeling… that this is the Life you'll be remembered for. When it’s over?! You know, when you’re no longer around to talk with and the memory of your best features is all everyone can have from you.

Yeah, nothing ever stays the same, things change, and for some, or in some days, feels good that Life is so unpredictable. There’s some sweet surprises, there’s some cool “outpost” of who we can be, but, depending on your personality and life experiences, there can also be a lot of frustration towards this thing we call living.

We all feel the need for a purpose, for an interesting story, better yet, an interesting narrator. We don’t imagine ourselves becoming old, but we picture often who we will be like looking back. Deep inside each of us we dream of finding Love, finding words and actions that reveal who we are while being useful and recognised in the world (the simple world of our close ones is enough).

And so we keep trying, sketching in what way we can be closer to the right, corrected, evolved version of ourselves. Will that final version ever exist? Yes, we will find that final version of ourselves when we accept that our flaws are what makes us who we are, and with humility, we forgive ourselves and others, for not living always accordingly to what our thoughts, gestures and words say behind our back.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

_

Mahatma Gandhi

But, there’s this thing that, unless life shakes us up, very few get it, which is, Life has no experience trial mode. We’re born and we’re living it. This frustrating tendency of leaving for later what could be done, could be said, let go, keeps us in a constant draft mode…  It’s indeed scary to compromise in ignorance, but to keep being ignorant for the sake of not submitting that Life’s draft, takes us nowhere. Keeps us in repeat  mode, and eventually, as any old record that is heard only through the same track, we get scratched, never moving on to the next tune.

Over and over it’s hard to be fully present. There’re things we wanted to say, there’s ideas we want to share, there’s situations we wish we could change… and over and over we live overriding this moment, right now, with those wishes and fantasies, pretend talks and false projections, thinking that one day, we will manage to change from the draft version of ourselves, to a final complete one.

… well, we are, right now, right here, and where we will go next, no one knows.

So be present. Be you. Share what you’re scared off, share what you’re giggling about,  share your ignorance, staying present, being real. Stop being only a draft. Submit yourself to the world: I am.

" (...) I've got the world by the balls
Am I supposed to behave? (...)

It's easy to assume that you've built some rapport
With a someone who only likes you for what you like yourself for
Okay, you be my mirror but remember that there are only a few angles I tend to prefer
I'm only here to serve"

_

Father John Misty

Shortness of breath...

We listen over and over the powerful advice of living in the present, between inhales and exhales, focusing our minds in one specific task, be it breathing or really just grabbing hard any loose thought that tries to travel far. Supposedly this control will bring us freedom, freedom from rush, from stress, from ups and downs and consequent sadness.

Then we get out again, and we try to stay with that calmness inside. To continue not to be in any rush, with a constant forgiveness and understanding attitude… till you’re fired because they want someone more energetic, and still you force yourself into numbness/coolness, you don’t have any food or can’t pay the rent because you don’t have enough money, but if you stay in the flow of nothingness things will fall into their right place, whatever that is, and eventually you just end up having only the present reality, the breathe in or not breathe any more.

Passiveness leads into “whatever” and in whatever mode, we act disconnected, we act on repeat. Whatever is when we’re tired and afraid, and we’ve actually given up.

“Then I’ll imagine”, she said, that’s the only way I can feel myself happier. I’ll use imagination. “Ah, you’re wrong”, imagination can also lead you into reclusion and loneliness. What you need is reality. Pure uncovered reality. That’s where you need to be in and feel, reality. “No…” said another voice, reality is made by others and the reality they share comes from their own imagination. Reality is really just our own interpretation of the world. Even the most scientific views of the world, are projections of self ideas, individual bets of hypothesis…. “Well, then I give up!” Or better yet, I choose not to think any more. But isn’t that dying?… Isn’t it wanting, real curiosity that keeps us alive?

Pain keeps us alive.

We need pain to change, to question, to feel lost and only after, in survivor’s mode, we grab on to what can really bring us to surface. Our last instinct is too survive, but our first reaction to sadness is the opposite. We can live our entire life holding on to a well disguised pain, just not to let us fall… so, let go, fall face down, risk it. Scream if you have to, but give yourself the chance to be forgiven and to start again. Fall to get up! We learn to ride any bike, skate, hey, just walking, by falling down over and over. And when we were told that its was too dangerous, or shouldn’t have been done, we questioned it. With age and routine, we get more scared of reinventing and challenging our beliefs. But so many times we carry more pain for not having shared that scary thought, that scary choice, for not having taken the risk.

“The unhappy person is one who has his ideal, the content of his life, the fullness of his consciousness, the essence of his being, in some manner outside of himself. The unhappy man is always absent from himself, never present to himself.”
_
Kierkegaard

To know ourselves, and feel what is, feel what we are, we can’t be the version for the easy listener, or the grumpy old man. We have to cry and we have to forgive, for after despair, the one thing left is possibility.

Crashing Cars

Fui eu que escolhi, vesti o fato, tirei a prancha e caminhei até ao mar, mas os meus sentidos deviam de estar desligados. Não dei importância ao vento, não dei importância à quantidade de espuma branca no mar. Só no primeiro mergulho, quando a prancha resistiu e deu resposta a estar submersa é que acordei da alegria de ir surfar ao final de mais um dia. Mas tudo bem, a natureza mexe conosco e ás vezes até fere, mas a dor é ganho, é recompensada pela energia que ganhamos por estar com o vento. entre o mar e as nuvens. 

Escolhi ignorar, e é sempre uma má escolha, seja no ignorar das nossas vontades, sonhos ou a vez de outra pessoa. Ignorar é virar as costas ao que existe mesmo. Por isso posso chamar-me de ignorante, muito, porque viro sempre as costas ao que me dói, ao que traz tristeza, achando que não se deve dar atenção ao que nos magoa. É entrarmos em negação, e é nesse estado que a maioria de nós vive. Em negação com os seus sentimentos, desejos, mas mais importante, na semelhança com o outro que age de forma absurdamente diferente, mas foi gerado da mesma forma. Tivéssemos todos coragem de olharmos o outro e compreendê-lo, perceber que somos todos ignorantes no erro ou no certo dos nossos gestos. Com humildade repito as palavras de Sócrates, sem o final de superioridade, apenas a afirmação da ignorância, do saber que nada sei, que sei muito pouco de muito para saber.

E a Arte mente, mas às vezes só assim encaramos a Verdade.

Que pode um fazer quando a tristeza de não sentir um propósito pesa mais que qualquer distração? Vivemos todos num estado de constante arrependimento, caso contrário viveríamos como santos, em beatitude de anjo. Mas podemos abrir os olhos e perceber que somos herdeiros das nossas falhas, não das nossas escolhas. Que sabemos nós do destino para onde somos conduzidos. Vamos num carro sem destino, por vezes em excesso de velocidade, a passar vermelhos, a sofrer acidentes. As falhas são o ter pressa, o ser impaciente, o ser egoísta, o ser preguiçoso e escolher ignorar, o não tomar tempo para estar consigo próprio e conhecer-se.

“The true and durable path into and through experience  involves being true … to your own solitude, true to your own secret knowledge.”

_ 

Seamus Heane

x

Dream awake... it's ok.

If we knew how powerful dreaming can be, we wouldn't call lost those who are seen as lunatics and at drift. Some of them reach the highlights and are well fed in compliments, but most, sadly, are pointed to be crazy and consequently, diminished in their abnormal human being condition.

"A lot of people think or believe or know they feel — but that’s thinking or believing or knowing; not feeling.

_

E.E. Cummings

We all have two hemispheres in our brain, the master of all ideas and decisions, and in a society that dictates methods and structure, there cannot be much space for one very important part of us, us as individuals and as humans, the part that feels, questions, dreams.

We are constantly looking for meaning, for a translation of what we are feeling and how can it be applied in our daily life, and also, let's be honest, in our life projects... We desperately need meaning, as it feels as the only way to be lucid, to connect with the world. Things need to be placed in their order. Basically, what we choose to understand is what is. And in our quest to feed that stability, normality, balance, we search and grab on to metaphors, since most of the time only through metaphors can we foresee what is happening in us and around us.

We were a child that was born, another dreamer of a world unseen and the first thing we do is to imitate the ones around us, and all through our lives that's what the majority of us keeps doing, whatever the culture or religion we were born into.

“To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight.”
_
E.E. Cummings

And here is where the lost, the lunatics, the susceptible of their feelings, art lovers, come in, to provoke our modeled lives, to insight us into our inner deep selves, to make us look for  

"... the distinction between the substance of the thing and the procedural overlay."

_

Iain McGilchrist)

Important thinkers spent their whole life trying to unify these two areas of us, a left and a right hemisphere. Both need each other, both are important, but when it comes to understand the world and make some meaning out of our experience, it's our emotional and creative side that we need to develop and listen to. Through music, dance, singing, letting our clothes fall on the ground and really letting our well behaved self fade into the sensual feeling of losing it!

“No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life, the true and durable path into and through experience, involves being true … to your own solitude, true to your own secret knowledge.”

_

Nietzsche

Go and find a special song that you alone can sing.

We think we know ourselves, we blame ourselves for everything and we live in this constant fight of choosing right or wrong, oh man, it’s so much harder, deeper and unconscious than that…

We live in a rush of getting things done, of making sure our message was clear, of making sure we’re not missing any important step, follow up, whatever, we need to be included in what’s going on, otherwise! What??? Otherwise you’re a lunatic, you’ve got something wrong with you, you’re not included in that whatever.

Yeah, we forget we have this very present animal part in us that usually ends up making our choices for ourselves… Then we’re very good at finding reasons and excuses for why and why not, we did or we didn’t do something.

We know very little, and usually it’s in those crucial times that we find it out.

Only with age and life experience do we start being a bit more cautious before showing what’s on our mind, and even then, it’s not for all. Disclosing to our friends or whoever, what you’re really are thinking and feeling, requires a bit of “dementia”, a bit of very sensitive bravery.

So how do you get to fully trust in your thoughts and consequently, your decisions?

Some have religion for that, which sets up rules of good behaviour, but good behaviour doesn’t exclude inner hurt, pain, and insecurity. 

All of us find something that will take our attention out of our questions, that’s why, being left alone it’s usually a painful thing. Being left alone means being left with our doubts, regrets, with our unspoken words. And you start, because it’s our nature, to question the purpose of being here. We need a purpose, we need a reason to get off bed, to get out of the door. That’s why we partner up. We need an excuse for waiting, for postponing, for not having to think about ourselves, we’ve got someone else to worry about, and it’s so much easier to direct our attention onto someone else… Then you have kids and it’s a whole new unselfish view of life. You don’t choose for yourself, you choose for them. They’re the reason for anything, even for your deranged actions, it was for them! You did it for them. Yeah, we project our worries onto others very easily.

When you’re in front of your reflection, what do you see? We see whatever our mind is feeling. If it happened that there was a nice tune or conversation before we saw ourselves, all cool, we are good people, but if you see yourself before a disappointment, something that didn't go as expected, ui, you don’t look as great do you?

That’s why trusting too much on your mind is letting you, whoever you are, being led by a very partial, sensitive, and pre-conditioned judge. Pre-conditioned in so many ways: parenthood, school, life opportunities, religion, race and color.

“No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life”

_

Nietzsche

How can we find some tranquility in being, knowing so little about ourselves and reasons for purely existing, or sadly, stop existing? … This is going to sound bad, but the solution might be, not really caring so much for what others think. You’ve been given an existence, and that’s all we have. We exist. And existing means: taking care of yourself. How can we do that? With respect. Respect about the nature of things and people. Because we do know very little, that first respect and compassion about ourselves is really important to forgive, care and grow up, and later it has to be used on others too. People around us choose and make, say things that cary so much of their existence, without being aware of. We give so much space for misunderstandings, unveiled mistakes, it happens all the time. We exist by miracle and for that we so should be humble. Why are we here? Why are some called to leave? Why so many suffer so much? Why does life on this earth seem to be so unfair, so cold, while being for so many others, amazingly warm and blessed?

We know very little, and some have spent their whole life trying to write some sort of manual of conscious conducts, but we still know very little. We do know that through understanding, forgiveness and space (be it physical or through time) we give an opportunity to a more peaceful and loving life, and that’s all we aspire to. Whether you’re a super rich person, or someone closed in, what we most wish for is to love and be loved and feel inner peace.

“The process by which man is able to posit his own subjective nature outside of himself … is at [the] bottom of all effort and the germinating principles of all reform and all progress.”

_

Frederick Douglass

“To know what one ought to do is certainly the hardest thing in life. ‘Doing’ is comparatively easy.”

_

Maria Mitchell (astronomer)

(In) existence

We exist, and about it we know nothing.
We assume that if we can see each other then we must exist... hum...
Did we choose it?
Did we know anything to choose so. Did we have any previous introduction before hand? 101 Existing for Beginners...?

Growing up, through school and so much through work, we are seen crazy if we question it. You don't it question out loud! Maybe within a trustworthy caring group of people. Even in our so called irrational moments, we don't question what it means... because we fear the answer maybe. Well, the majority of people say that if you cease breathing you cease to exist, but even those have litle secret doubts inside them.

So we stay silent about it, for the sake of some psychological balance, but only to find out later in Life, that this thing called existence means so much. As we grow older we look back and question if we existed or not. Our memories are exactly that, the reply to that question.

(...)

Fui eu que escolhi, vesti o fato, tirei a prancha e caminhei até ao mar, mas os meus sentidos deviam de estar desligados. Não dei importância ao vento, à quantidade de espuma branca no mar. Só no primeiro mergulho, quando a prancha resistiu e deu resposta a estar submersa é que acordei da alegria de ir surfar ao final do dia. Mas tudo bem, a Natureza mexe conosco e às vezes até fere, mas a dor é apagada pela recompensa da energia que ganhamos por estar entre o vento, o mar, as nuvens, o sol, a areia... Escolhi ignorar, o que é sempre uma má escolha, seja no ignorar das nossas vontades, sonhos, ou a vez de outra pessoa. Ignoramos e viramos as costas ao que existe mesmo. Sou ignorante, muito, porque viro sempre as costas ao que me dói, ao que me traz tristeza, achando que não se deve dar atenção se algo nos magoa. Ensinaram-nos isso. Mas ficamos ignorantes sobre os nossos sentimentos, vontades, mas tão importante também, ignorantes na nossa semelhança com o outro que age de forma absurdamente diferente e todavia pensa o mesmo.

Quem me dera que tivéssemos coragem de nos olharmos, despirmos e com humildade ensaiarmos as palavras de um pensador, que disse "... eu só sei que nada sei. Sei que não sei tudo e o que sei, sei-o de modo imperfeito."

To Frame or not to frame... whatever.

Isn’t it obvious how irrational it is that if you stare for 15 min into a small detail in a lake you’re labeled weird, but if you stare to that same little spot behind a screen it’s ok, you’re taking a picture! … so we are normal if we are seen to fit society's trends, but if you actually got your own self tune, rhythm, non-ideas, ah, you’re off, you’re a bit strange… you’re “different”. 

And in a time where being different, specially through the color of your skin, through your clothing habits, immediately frames you into a social type group, hey, be honest, only if you’re labeled crazy can you actually not fit any frame.

“… But I see your true colors.

If his world makes us crazy, and you've taken all you can bear”, learn…

This world can makes us crazy if we keep following others interpretations and never really follow our own. We need to be affected by life, that’s how we grow and change into better versions of ourselves. If we just rely on what was said to us, on what someone did, on what we one day(!) will do… than we’re lying to ourselves and that’s what’s crazy.

“Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love.” 

_

Erich Fromm

We all got our own days and nights, everyone. No one is completely sunny and never dark as a new moon night, so real freedom is not about how far you can stretch the rules, but really how much do you accept freedom in others.

If you get angry, frustrated by something, then find in yourself why.

Anything which is troubling you, anything which is irritating you, making you shift… that’s your teacher. 

Turn down that wall and speak openly about your dreams.

Behind the "wheel"

She stares at him, fearful but with a determine unshivering face, and replies, I want to do it and I will. The long dark hair hidden by an old sweet flowery veil, and her subtle no teeth smile when he just walks away in disdain... She did it, she fought for her belief, for her a freedom, for her right to speak and dream beyond what any man can say.

Everyday someone has to really stand up for something bigger than themselves. The usual Us, just keeps walking, turns the face the other way, chooses to forget. But everytime we choose ignorance over action, we are choosing to take a step backwards, further away from Freedom & Love.

Closing our eyes does not make things go away. It can even make it worst, because our thoughts have more power within us than anything exterior. So if you're scared or frustrated, closing your eyes will only amplify those same feelings inside you. Let's open our eyes, let's speak and listen, touch and feel where we are and who with.

She has suffered and will suffer more critics and disbelief from others that lie and tell her it's for her own good that certain things are forbidden for women to do, but from the moment she opened her eyes and understood there were no more options besides standing tall and present, she has won something that no jury on this earth can ever give: Faith, faith in herself and in her life.

We breathe and share this planet. Why and for how long we can only point out guesses, some stronger than others, so all we have is right now. The past has its own shape and taste already, so it can only be recalled. If you are recalling it now, find in your heart a view of grace or forgiveness, but don't grab on to it or you'll never experience versions of yourself you'd never thought you'd see. The woman or man that breathes strength, courage and honesty.

Question things, learn about them, be curious to understand why and why not. Be creative, and please, the world really needs it, be gentle and be positive.

Become a better, happier, singing and smiling "driver" or "rider"!

Get inspired....

Behind the Wheel: Egypt's Women Drivers

The stories of four Egyptian women and the different vehicles they drive

- from a rickshaw to a 36-tonne truck.

LINK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGzRMsMcLl4

(.... e desta vez em Português)

Onde estou e para onde vou? OK, já tanta gente se perguntou isso, sou mais uma a fazê-lo. E que resposta tenho para dar? Sendo óbvia e vazia respondo que não sei. Talvez faça mais sentido dizer, Aceito que não sei, ou seja, alguém o sabe e eu sou ignorante. Bolas, como deixar de o ser??

Os únicos momentos em que sinto saber qualquer coisa são quando sorrio de sentimento, quando as coisas não têm nome, não têm causas, são e nesse existir são bonitas e tranquilas.

Mas então quem sou eu? Para onde vou... de onde venho?

Venho do egoísmo e de muita curiosidade. Com o tempo e muita matéria lixada, tenho vindo a descobrir a simplicidade do interior, meu e dos outros. Depois de muito corte, quando o que é de dentro se torna exterior, consegue-se ver o quão lisos ou não ásperos somos. Como troncos de madeira passamos a ser úteis, passamos a servir de suporte, juntos podemos servir de abrigo. Também podemos fazer tropeçar, mas isso é quando caímos e estamos já sem sentido para existir.

Então vamos para onde nos levar o nosso sentido de ser, sem medo de partir, quebrar.
... nada se cria, tudo se transforma...

Know Thyself

Courage… so many ways we could show it, if we got it, but most of them require something that society makes one hell of an effort to keep it on through the concepts of consciousness; rationality; fitting in…

How many sighs, big long breaths, do you let go per day, wishing somehow you could be what feels right to you. Oh no! Imagine the amount of craziness that would happen if people did that!!! That’s dangerous! … Stop right there!

… Just dream it, dream that you don’t stop there, that you really follow your drive, that you go 100% in your next breath, word, thought and action.

Fear can take over so much, I don't think most of us are aware of the cage we keep ourselves in.

Here’s what has been seen over time: it’s the ones most capable of being uncomfortable that find their voice and whole hearted projects aka success! It’s the ones who truly follow their curiosity that give something back to this world.

We’re so afraid of falling, of not being accepted, of being labeled outsiders/crazy that we choose a life long average normality over growth and liberation. We bully ourselves! …

… where’s the Love? Where’s the understanding that no one is perfect, that we are here to learn, to change, to rebel our own beliefs and really feel this alive thing, the “I exist” awareness.

We make mistakes, everyone does them, and even when you might think you didn't do anything wrong, someone will point out that you’ve got a bad nature, a bad character, that you are futile, selfish, childish, stubborn, a liar, dumb. We are all a big “family” but when it comes to understanding and openly helping each other find their growth and voice, as a “family” first comes education… First we need education. OK… Could Love be a school teaching subject? 

Yes, I’ve had the courage to make mistakes.

I choose wrongly, I didn’t make it right. Yes, I’ve made some really wrong choices in Life, but that also means I’ve had the courage to follow my impulses, my self-growth, I’ve had the courage to explore, to scream, cry and all that leads us to really testing and trying what we are made of.

“Know thyself (…) The unexamined life is not worth living.” … so, “(…) “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

_

Socrates

Saying Goodbye and Thank you

There are times in our Life where everything just seems to be engineered by some evil mind, with a master plan to drive us mad and consequently making us giving up. Ok, sometimes it's just a particular day, but other times it can last for a couple of years. But as everything in Life, we can think of what's happening to us as this dirty, smelly and dark tunnel that we had the misfortune to walk into, or we can see it as an uneasy and uncared path to a nice beach. We do have always a choice, even in our darkest hours... BUT, more than that, more than having a choice in how to deal with a situation, there will be an outcome of that decision, so the choice of facing something positively, despite the pain we are feeling can actually bring us major gains to our soul and mind, it can bring deep change in ourselves that in another way would not happen if we were forever kept in our comfort zone.

Real growth happens in discomfort, ask any athlete, but beyond that obvious view point, ask someone who has been through deep pain, frustration, sadness and did not quit, did not give up upon all the other past battles it went through and made it. We are tough creatures, with a heart that all it really desires is to feel the beautiful love and smile of our close ones, to have a purpose in Life and to laugh!

So, despite the dark and cold clouds that make us shiver and feel less alive, make yourself a nice warm beverage, invite your friends over, put some music on, read a great book, fall in love with any passing bug, smile and share that smile, and accept that painful discomfort as a wake up call to focus on what really matters to you.

Hey...

Knowing your own darkness

is the best method for dealing

with the darknesses of other people.

— Carl Jung

PLEASE WATCH:
BBC - Dying taught me how to Live

That je ne sais quois…

Maybe to protect ourselves from fear we grab on to the idea of invisibility as absence.

If we can’t see it it’s not there, but if this world had only one colour, one colour only to be seen, we would try harder to guess what could be suspicious of being there that was not clear to us.

We believe that everything is openly shaped and unmistakably well coloured and drawn. Trees are green, the sky is blue, the sun is golden, sadness is grey and love a very bright incandescent red.

Its the belief, to believe, no matter in what, that it’s important in staying alive. We need to belief, not for any grand purpose, but for that simple yet crucial one thing, keeping it together.

But if we took a more “scientific” approach to what we are made of, we would probably easier accept our self “bugs-virus”, our errors and wrong paths. We were built in a certain way, with a certain genetic neurological web, plus we have a specific education and parenthood. So how much invisibility is still there to expect? Isn’t it all part of a process - biological and educative.

Are we rational beings, where emotions work as tools for a purpose or are do we have a certain je ne sais quois that science can’t address? Is there something more in us that allows and feeds our “pseudo” free will?

If we take a moment to think about anger, we can see it as survival tool. An emotion that sorts effect.

We are selfish rational beings, that share emotions, positive or negative according with what we need. If we want peace and compassion, we act accordingly. If we want to get some things out of our chest while causing some pain in other, we grab on to hurt and rage. 

So we hold on to what we believe we can change, control, dress, for we don’t want to be the outliers of this big scheme. Even if we’re doing something original, we want to be part of that group of beings that are known for their originality. Madness is too subtle for having just a little peak.

Exclusion is the same as absence and so, the same as invisibility.

We try hard to be visible, but isn’t each of us an outlier on this big scheme call society and humankind? And, when it comes to feelings, unfortunately some of them serve no purpose, they just linger, because some invisible part of us can feel much more than the mind can understand.

The invisible exists and not just through its absence.

CHOICE

Some us find it easier to define Life in steps, phases, periods, but Life is this continuum thing. We are not even sure how continuum it is. Are we just a product of the Now or are we made of Eternity?

Whatever it is your belief, in the physical life what matters in the end are your choices. Starting from the end, you can choose to believe in an afterlife or death as a dead end. Then, as age settles in our mind and body, we get away from the choices, less becomes the more, exactly the opposite of when we're young and frenetic, more, more, more and more to choose.

In this self growing process, at first we tend to believe that opportunities choose us. There is a right moment (or wrong), we're either lucky or unlucky, so despite our super active mind we are quite passive about the turns we choose to take. We keep growing these ideas and then comes this moment that we feel as if we have woken up and we realize that the choices we make define who we are. Wow! So we should think a bit more before choosing... but then! comes another moment when we realize that there's no randomness into choosing. There is a mindset in ourselves that decides in what to believe, and all our choices will be directed by that: the unconscious  + the conscious mind.

What's that? Unconscious mind?
Well, it was Sigmund Freud who introduced this concept of the mind being a reservoir of feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories that we're not fully aware, but that have power over who we are.
So if we are afraid of something but refuse to admit it, we will keep our distance from it, not really understanding why. And as silly as it sounds, we can be afraid of absurd things, like, happiness. We can be afraid of being happy!

How can we control our mind?
We can't control it 100%, but we can CHOOSE how to speak with ourselves and of course, with others. And just that tiny little consciousness awareness of our inner monologue can give us power to redirect our Life.

Try it...
- make the effort of expressing possibility (there is away to achieve what you want if you really believe in it, fully! no excuses);
- Use power words that are active, not passive (For example, a surfer could say, "my biggest problem is being afraid of bigger waves", but instead he should say to himself, "my biggest challenge is to learn how to duck dive better");
- Speak in questions. Statements leave you no option. Again, for example, you can state that "these waves are too big for me...", but try changing it into a question, "how can I go over the breaking point of the waves?"

Lastly... Be inspired!


The man & the sea from Andrew Kaineder on Vimeo.

Attention please...

... And we think we are paying attention. Well we are, but maybe not to things or thoughts that could be of good use to us. We probably are paying attention towards the wrong direction. But we think we own the will to decide where our focus should be, and we are so wrong on that...

Our will takes us to where our mind has its attention. If you keep focusing on your wrongs and faults, your will will be to surpass them, but your horizon will always be settling on those same problems. Unless something disrupts our chain of thought we are more likely to look at things according to the the same known perspective, over and over... 

So if our will is to feel free, we immediately ask of what, free of what? And of course we name what we think it imprison us and that's where our attention will rest, on the thing we are scared of, on the thing we want to change, on what hurts us.

To stop any process and really open ourselves to change, growth and expansion we need to change our attention. Why do we grow the way we do when in Life we are sweetly presented with children? They grab our attention! Not our will or wishes. They grab our attention.

Attention, pure contemplative practice.

Simone Weil, philosopher in the 1920-30s spoke to us about the importance of having a mind that embraces grace and takes the time to incorporate it in our thoughts and actions

"We have to try to cure our faults by attention and not by will. (...) Attention, taken to its highest degree, is the same thing as prayer. It presupposes faith and love. Absolutely unmixed attention is prayer."

Most things in our life are imagined by us. Reality is not that well known to the majority of us, so we are too easily deceived by what we imagine it's the truth to everyone else. No one will see the world the same way you do. The closest thing we can share is empathy.

Reality is that almost unprovable thing, and even in laboratoires, it's usually proven by its contrary. And we don't live in a laboratory, we live in homes, and friends arms, and work desks, we live attached to whatever has shown to give us meaning about who we are.

"Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached."

But we need roots, and attachment... we need meaning and belonging, "(...) for when two beings who are not friends are near each other there is no meeting, and when friends are far apart there is no separation."

Just remember that where you focus your attention that will be where you are lead.

Are you High on Hope?

There's a Plan b somewhere in our head, right? We'll figure it out, there's gotta be a way, a sense to why we spend our entire life searching for the next thing, the next day, the next exit or opportunity.

... we are dreamers, we are all in our essence dreamers, but school, work, community either helps our dreams to become our mirrors or shuts it all down with a sign of dead end street...

Love will save the day! (and we hope again)

Well, one thing we know, if there's nothing we believe in, nothing that can connect us to being alive, what's left of any living inside us will drain away.

So bitch away, stay blind to what was said you should be, and instead follow that groove that drives you with a smile in your face, head banging in rhythmic aliveness...

"Choose Life..." and make it an interesting story, a story with value and that special je ne sais quoi.
But for that you need to find the reason to do it.

We are all:

It's not easy at all to realize why you are doing it, but it's called emotional/mental hygiene.
So while you're getting dirty, make sure you've got a place to shower.
And keep the "rave" going.


High On Hope - feature doc trailer from Piers Sanderson on Vimeo.

… we’re free when we are not afraid

When I see, the outside world is my idea of the outside world. My idea. And you have yours.

“You can’t handle the Truth!”, says a character of an old movie.

Is that why not questioning too much can be the recipe for a normal, happily standard Life?

One of the most difficult things in being I would say is accepting the very little conscious of what we know. We don’t know that much do we? Where do we come from, where do we go after, why are we here, where/how did it all start?

And that's where Faith, Hope, can play an important part in our Life or not at all.

How can we have Faith that there’s real forgiveness, that there’s real Heaven, that there’s real OK, if most days we go through all Life’s wheel colours, from happy orange to sad grey.

We are always, always! measuring, comparing, fitting the pieces and trying to make sense, and we say that’s being open and free! we’re free when we can hold all the knowledge about something and choose! Really?

… we’re free when we are not afraid, when we’re in no rush or get stuck in self-exteriorized concepts.

We’re free when we give up trying to give things, actions, experiences, more meaning than what they have.

We are free when we stop asking Life for meaning and instead hear Life asking us what meaning do we want to give Life.

In sadness we might say:

“I have nothing to expect from life any more.”

Where’s an answer for that?

Viktor Frankl, the same person who wrote “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”  also writes:

“What was really needed was a fundamental change in our attitude toward life. We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us.

(…) We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life — daily and hourly.”

Life as expectations towards us, and we will be lead into them. We can choose to follow them or give up, be angry, but we will only be wasting time…

So pay attention towards what you focus your mind on. That's who you'll become.

Slow down...

On this time we’ve got left what can one do?

It’s and blunt question, but sometimes a necessary one to wake us up.

Life is short.

For many of us, the Ego steps in. “I’ve done this, and that, and so much”, but we’re lying to ourselves when we just list the things we’ve done, aren’t we? Do you feel satisfied with that answer… could it be that instead of thinking about what we’ve done, it would be more honest and valuable to state what we’ve learned?

Plato asked, "…why should we not calmly and patiently review our own thoughts, and thoroughly examine and see what these appearances in us really are?”

How many of us feel that we are chasing a dream, a life goal that will give meaning to who we are? And despite the amount of “achievements”, that unrestful search can only provide some small temporary fixes.

We are what we do and say, we are what we choose, in sum, we are what we believe.

If you believe yourself to be broken, you will be broken.

If you believe you don’t have the courage, you will never have the courage.

What we believe we are…

So tell yourself, what do you believe in?

Yes we are conditioned by our experiences and lessons through life. At first its school (our parents words will resonate all through our life…), but then it’s up to us, to believe or not in what friends, neighbours, employers, books and travel agents say to us. We choose what we believe in.

But this concept of choice its far from being simple, isn’t it? When faced with a not so known crossroad, any certainty we thought we had can transform itself into the shape of a big question mark, and block our view.

Yeap, we were sure that we had the right path but then maybe we should think again, other people have chosen differently in the exact same situation, testimonies of the same choice have revealed to be unproductive, wrong even… yes, we were sure, but not anymore because we’ve lost the direction of where we wanted to go, we’ve lost the purpose of our travel… It’s not about which roads we choose to take, but the destination, right?

How many times do we need to remind ourselves of that?

It’s ok to be a bit lost, as long as you don’t give up of where you intended to go. Take different turns, explore, but don’t loose sight of that image that made/makes your heart smile.

So what do you believe with all your heart?

It’s a hard one. You can even argue that a lifetime is not enough to come up with an answer for this one, but if we just stopped for a bit and felt the sweet loving vibes we can feel when we think of our dreams and hopes, we could maybe get closer to understanding what we truly believe.

But we choose to be busy. We choose to be in a rush.

“Busy is a decision… You don’t find the time to do things — you make the time to do things.”

_

Jonathan Fields

Think about what it means to be busy, in such a delicate and temporary life.

Really? We have this amazing opportunity of being alive and we rush over life?

Do you choose rush? Do you believe in being busy?

I know why I’m afraid of stopping and look into my beliefs and life choices. Because I fear that I might not recognise myself in the clothes I’m wearing or the house I call home, but I also know that unless I decide to stop and ask for guidance I will always be believing in my fears and not in my heart.

Let’s not be afraid of admitting we took a wrong turn, instead, use that as a lesson learnt and useful in the future.

And instead of keeping ourselves busy, lets take the time to answer our doubts and fears. Let’s use our valuable time to answer these valuable questions, even greater ones like, are you only just body and mind?

More and more it’s repeated through out podcasts and articles that happiness, as we envision, is possible through a more focused state of mind. Not focused on our mind chatter and constant rumination, but focused on what we’re doing, be it at work or just when we’re telling that sweet bed time story to our kids. That “be here”, “be present” stuff. And you know how we can be focused and present? By slowing down…

Slowing down on our rush to do, go, buy, have, get, show. By stopping being busy and instead, being, enjoying, feeling.

“Act the way you'd like to be and soon you'll be the way you act”

_

Leonard Cohen